“Something prevents me to live as I want to live” - exclaims Liza. She is a very successful and super smart UX designer in her late 30's.
“Like today in the morning: I wanted to go to the gym, but there again was that part of me saying take it easy, lets look at more emails, maybe check Facebook... just take your time, don't do anything… Lets just do nothing, that is the best!”
My Republic of Minds technique is simple and powerful. I help my client relax and then we ask all the different minds to show up in the client's conference room and I ask the client to let all the different characters show up and speak their mind.
So we enter Liza’s conference room and ask this part of her to show up. Gypsy Girl enters the room and tells us how much she loves to get lazy with Liza, just do nothing. "Never step on the cracks in the pavement" she reminds Liza, "Lets just spin around and fall down laughing!"
What a great start! A Republic of Minds session is the best when the minds are vivid and articulate and so they will evoke and invite the other minds as well. We all have many minds, and always more than a few shows up. I did sessions with as many as 12 different minds...
Suddenly Liza’s whole family shows up from the old country. “Wow, I can feel how angry they are at me! I have never felt this so clearly before” says Liza.
They tell her: “You should always look for the GAIN. Never do anything without a gain. Personal gain, financial gain, health gain…” Gain gain, they were all about the gains! We thank them and since they aren't parts of Liza's I ask around: who invited these outside characters in? (There is always an inside mind who invite outsiders in..)
Ms. Sobriety shows up and sits down at the top of the table, the regular place of the Judge. She is in a nondescript grey costume and has a bun.
“They are right! She is a slacker, a truant in her own life. She hated the piano lessons her parents made her take, that is when I joined her to help her to get through. There are things she must do whether she likes it or not.”
Turns out Ms. Sobriety cannot stand Gypsy Girl - no wonder! They are polar opposites. So I ask to invoke: who could help out Liza here? Who can help balance these two important parts? How can we make the best of both worlds here?
An old silver-headed woman shows up and start to say zen things like "there is not that big of a difference between the two sides". “This is just a game of tension.”
By this time I think we are settling for a good solution with the lady in white, I like where this is going. I ask her: so what is the solution? How shall Liza go about it?
“The tension will always be there, whatever she does. Whichever direction she breaks for, the tension will be there. So she should not do anything. She should do nothing. Be invisible. Be a nobody.”
Wow. That came as a true surprise. Be a nobody? That is not a very supportive advice. I ask my test question: so do you keep Liza’s interest at heart? Are you part of Liza?
BANG! - she turns into a black witch, Liza reports! “I hate Liza. I hate her voice. I hate her whining. I don't want any good to happen to her. I want to spoil her fun!”...
It's not uncommon to run into a real saboteur in the Republic of Minds.
Tune in next week to see how we handled this saboteur in Liza’s mind!
In the meantime: let me know about the different minds in your mind!
Are they helping or hindering your goals?
How many of them could you isolate so far?
What are the issues you are in two minds about?
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